The Wit Of Warren Buffett

Warren Buffett is the 2nd wealthiest man in the world. He is a $ billionaire several times over.

To give you some idea of what this means, consider the following anecdote: 'A man gave his wife $1m to spend at a rate of $1,000 a day. In three years she returned for more. So he gave her $1bn and she didn't come back for 3,000 years.' Warren Buffett's wife could go on a spending spree for 90,000 years.

Buffett's Wit:

'Our gain in net worth during the year was $613.6m or 48%. It is fitting that the visit of Halley's Comet coincided with this percentage gain; neither will be seen again in my lifetime.'

1985 Berkshire Hathaway Report.

Establishing the criteria for acquisition of companies is 'a lot like selecting a wife. You can thoughtfully establish certain qualities you'd like her to have, and then all of a sudden, you meet someone else and do it.'

Annual Meeting 1986

'If any of you would like to withdraw your proxy at this time, just raise your hand. As soon as we can get around to you, you will be ejected from the meeting.'

Annual Meeting 1988

Value investing: 'The fact that it's so simple makes people reluctant to teach it. If you've gone and gotten a Ph.D. and spent years learning how to do all kinds of tough things mathematically, to have to come back to this is - it's like studying for the priesthoood and finding out that the Ten Commandments were all you needed.'

New York Times Magazine

About making money: 'I enjoy the process far more than the proceeds, though I have learned to live with those, also.'

Forbes

'Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls-Royce to get advice from those who took the subway.'

Los Angeles Times Magazine

Tighter Accounting: 'Managers thinking about accounting issues should never forget one of Abraham Lincoln's favourite riddles: 'How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg ?' Answer: 'Four, because calling a tail a leg does not make it a leg.'

1992 Annual Report

'I only invest in companies that can be run by idiots because sooner or later one will be.'

Widely quoted

'Happiness does not buy money.'

Forbes

How to teach in business schools: 'I would say for a final exam, here's the stock in an Internet company, what's it worth ? And anybody who gave an answer, flunks.

Annual Meeting 1998