Stewart Touchdowning
David Quarterbackham
Robert Green Bay
Shoulder Paddy Kenny
Jack Del Rio Ferdinand
Alex Peyton Manninger
Stephen Punt
Michael Vicktor Moses
Detroit Lionel Messi
Tim Te-Hong-Myung-Bow
- Can you do better than our dodgy efforts?! Let us know...
image: © David Reber Hammer Photography
Dan Coombs
@hitcdancoombsmore stories from Dan Coombs
Dan Coombs is a writer who is keen to embrace the internet revolution. He first started writing for us in June 2011 and commenced his new role as Sports Editor in February 2012.
As a trained journalist he has met famous faces from Mr T to Boris Johnson. He once featured in an England World Cup music video too, but it did not make the charts.
He grew up wanting to be a Formula 1 driver, but it looks like this dream has passed him by. Instead, he hopes you enjoy reading his writing on our site, as we seek to debate the day's sporting hot topics.
High Finance: A Wall Street Novel
50 Shades of Embarrassing
"Baby I Perform This Way"
Wobbly bellied fan fails to put off NBA hotshot
I'll Scratch Your Back If You Scratch Mine ...
Hungry Lion Tries To Eat Baby ....
Poll: Was Brendan Rodgers right to turn down Liverpool?
Every fan of Tottenham Hotspur will be backing Bayern tonight
A QPR fan's perspective on Chelsea v Bayern Munich
Andrew Strauss struggles over final stretch for 20th England century