Another Sorry Would-Be Wall Street Intern Email Goes Viral (The Ego Has Landed)

Here's another of those sorry would-be intern emails that has been doing the rounds on Wall Street during the last few days.

'Dear Sir or Madam,

I am an ambitious undergraduate at NYU.......I am a punctual, personable, and shrewd individual, yet I have a quality which I pride myself on more than any of these.

I am unequivocally the most unflaggingly hard worker I know, and I love self-improvement. I have always felt that my time should be spent wisely, so I continuously challenge myself; I left XXX because the work was too easy. Once I realized I could achieve a perfect GPA while holding a part-time job at NYU, I decided to redouble my efforts by placing out of two classes, taking two honors classes, and holding two part-time jobs. That semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups.

I say these things only because solid evidence is more convincing than unverifiable statements, and I want to demonstrate that I am a hard worker. JPMorgan (our italics) is a firm with a reputation that precedes itself and employees who represent only the best and brightest of those in finance. I know that the employees in this firm will push me to excellence, especially within the Investment Banking division. In fact, one of the supporting reasons I chose Investment Banking over any other division was that I know it is difficult. I hope to augment my character by diligently working for the professionals at Morgan Stanley (our italics), and I have much to offer in return.

I am proficient in several programming languages, and I can pick up a new one very quickly. For instance, I learned a years worth of Java from NYU in 27 days on my own; this is how I placed out of two classes.......... I am proficient with Bloomberg terminals, excellent with excel, and can perform basic office functions with terrifying efficiency. I have plenty of experience in the professional world through my internship with XXXXX. In fact, my most recent employer has found me so useful that he promoted me...

Please realize that I am not a braggart or conceited. I just want to outline my usefulness. Egos can be a huge liability, and I try not to have one'.

Our thanks to Business Insider for drawing this item to our attention.