Drinking at Breakfast

Occasionally I read articles I wish I had written. (Usually it's by Alain de Botton, but I so totally lack the depth.) In this case, I lack the experience.

I'm not a daytime drinker. A few times a year, I'll have a drink at noon (or, let's face it, start drinking at noon), but usually it's on a weekend away that has it written into the itinerary. Even by writer Troy Patterson's definition I don't qualify, since this is about drinking at breakfast, and even he says, "Don't drink at breakfast more than three times a year."

Other things to remember from his article, which appeared in Slate this past December:

"Do use a clean glass. No guzzling from the bottle, either. Drinking at breakfast is a rare pleasure with a noble heritage, and you need to show some decorum. If self-respect is beyond you at the moment in question, then settle for showing some respect for the institution. Treat this as a special occasion and dress to impress—a feat easily accomplished by waking up in or near your tuxedo. At the very least, affix a boutonniere to the lapel of your bathrobe."

On 'hair of the dog':

"...if you are capable even of looking at a glass of whatever left you so badly hungover, then your hangover is not so bad, and you are not actually cut out for drinking at breakfast. To you I simply recommend shaking some bitters, preferably grapefruit, into your bicarbonate of soda, and playing Radiohead very loud."

and:

"Don’t forget that there’s also a corpse reviver No. 1. That one involves Cognac, apple brandy, and sweet vermouth, and it is tasty, but its mood is most appropriate to those occasions when you’ve had a big night and you’re not hungover—that is, when you woke up drunk and just need to maintain while otherwise hydrating."

and lastly:

"If you’re ordering a Bloody Mary in a restaurant, then Do request that it is made with well vodka but Don’t ask what brand that is."

Click here to read the whole article so you know what to do if you qualify. What do I do, you ask?

"The rest of you can Do yourself a favor by fixing a corpse reviver No. 2. This is equal parts gin, Cointreau, Lillet Blanc, and lemon juice, plus a dash of absinthe, shaken and served up. The act of concentrating on the task will be restorative in itself. It serves to clarify. It gives you a sense of purpose.