An exclusive* letter from 'Robin Van Persie' to Arsenal fans

Gavin Henry from Pitch Talk has detailed his own perception of events in his crafted parody letter...

Dear Arsenal Fans,

Hi my name is Robin Van Persie. I've come to a great club called Arsenal FC, situated in North London, England.

I have only seen them play beautiful football on television and everybody in and around the club says so much nice things about it. I'm moving to Arsenal not because I'm looking for big wages but because I want to work with one of the best managers in the world! I want to learn from him and I want to win things for this great club called Arsenal.

I love to kiss the badge, I constantly tell the fans how much I love them, I Tweet, I Facebook just to tell them this.

Ok it's been 6 seasons now and I still haven't won anything but who cares - I love this club so badly. I'm going to start saying it in press conferences as well now. People don't understand when I had that bad season hardly played, that season when I hardly scored and that season when I was in trouble with the law this club stuck by me, didn't judge me, supported me thick and thin. This is why I love this club.

My agent just told me Barcelona put a bid in, I told my family and friends I'm not interested but told my agent to go to the talks as i may as well see what they got to say right? Not that I will move or anything because I soooo love this club and we only need 2-3 players to win the title.

Another season passes and I still haven't won anything. Papers keep saying I want to move club, it's totally untrue, it has nothing to do with money, I'm not about the money. Not saying £180,000 per week wouldn't be nice but what is money when you are playing at such a lovely club, with nice personnel, management, and facilities? I just need time to think about how much i love the club, because as I have said on many occasions, I love this club.

I guess they've made me captain because I love the club so much, it seems like they are trying to move heaven and earth to make me happy. If I stay I will become an icon. Money and trophies can't buy that sort of love. That's why I love this club so much but one thing money can buy is trophies... just ask Nasri and Manchester City.

Ok 8 years has passed and I have realised that my love for this club is too much, I'm now down to the last year on my contract and because I love this club so much. I will refuse to leave on a free and I will do this publicly as well. I just cant stand here any longer and watch the mismanagement of this team, of which is no longer good enough for me.

The direction that this club is heading in does not match my ambition nor my love so I have decided to move from being a focal point and potential legend at this club of which I love soooo much and have done so for the past 8 years and i'm moving to another club to become a bit part bench warmer with a new house, car and more money and a better chance of winning something.

I hope the fans will understand, it's not me, it's the club. If they had been running it properly - May be I would want to stay. However I repeat it was never about the money because when I signed the contract with them I said pay me what Arsenal are currently paying me as all I want to do is win trophies. The plan can't fail right?

Farewell Arsenal, the club I love so much, please let me kiss the badge one more time. Hello new club and all you fans that I love so much...

Regretfully,

Robin van Persie*

*Letter may not actually be from Robin van Persie

image: © cactusbeetroot