Here are your not so fab five, or fat five perhaps...
Brolin was signed by Leeds United with a big reputation in tow. The Elland Road club were about to find out just how huge he was. Howard Wilkinson hailed the £4.5 million signing as one which would push Leeds back to become title challengers again. It turned out to be an unmitigated disaster. The warning signs were there, with Parma's coach expressing concerns over his fitness before selling him, and it appeared as though Leeds were sold a dud. He signed on a two and half year contract but was loaned out a year later after just 20 appearances. He briefly appeared for Crystal Palace in 1997 after signing as a free agent but looked more overweight that ever. He retired just a year later at 29.
Are we being harsh on Tevez here? Gary Neville would not disagree. The Sky pundit recently highlighted Tevez' improved form as down to his excellent fitness, compared to a year earlier when he turned up looking a lot more podgy. His lack of fitness saw him benched, and ultimately led to his big disagreement with Roberto Mancini which saw him exiled in Argentina for several months. All's well that ends well as he is on top form now, but there is no doubting his unhappiness at City at the time led to his poor conditioning and subsequent sulk. Those months on the golf course did him the world of good.
Benni McCarthy is a surefire contender for West Ham's worst ever signing, and they have had a few. The striker was signed for £2.5 million after a very impressive spell at Blackburn Rovers, but he simply never hit it off at the Hammers. He made just 13 appearances for the East London club and even received a £1.5 million pay off for his troubles. He was criticised by Karren Brady in her newspaper column which led to him slating her as 'the devil with a pair of tits,' to which she rebuked, 'at least i'm supposed to have tits.' He now plays for the Orlando Pirates in South Africa, but his lack of fitness cost him a place in Bafana Bafana's 2010 World Cup squad.
30-year-old Andy Reid has led a varied career, playing in the Premier League for Charlton, Tottenham, Sunderland, and Blackpool, and is now at Championship club Nottingham Forest. Throughout his career he has been accused of being overweight, but he has always put his large frame down to genetics. In an era of nutritionists and sports science, Reid looks out of place almost like a player from a Sunday league pitch.
Before Neil Ruddock could be seen appearing on Celebrity Wife Swap and I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Here, he used to play football. Just ask Andy Cole who broke both legs after colliding with the big man in a reserves match. Ruddock was known for his sizeable frame as much as for his spiky character, and upon signing for Swindon late in his career it really caught up with him. The club found themselves in a tricky situation when it emerged they did not have any shorts big enough to fit his waist, so they had to ask their kit manufacturer to make some specially for the defender.
And outside of English football... Jardel, Ronaldo, and a post-career Diego Maradona would give any of these five a run for their money.
image: © jillyspoon