The end is nigh. The Mayan Calendar ends on the 21st of December and with that moment it will bring the end of days or something like that anyway. Yeah my heart isn’t really in the idea that the world is generally coming to an end. Let’s put it this way I am not planning on doing a Carlos Roa on the issue.
The only major effect it will have on my life is as an extremely good excuse to start some early Christmas merriment. If anybody has read the book or seen the film ‘Rules of Attraction’ those ‘End of the World’ parties seem like a hell of a lot of fun.
So far I have survived Y2K and Nostradamus’s fleeting fallacies so I am feeling quietly confident on this latest battle with imminent mass extinction. Considering there doesn’t appear to be any solar-system currently on a collision course with ours, or asteroid hurtling to earth like a Rio Ferdinand directed key-ring and as far as I’m aware the current outbreak of Noravirus across the UK does not mean a Contagion style mass plague is about to wipe out civilisation as we know it.
So barring alien invasion, the dramatic changing of the North Atlantic Current or a sudden outbreak of nuclear war I would say I am pretty confident that Armageddon is not quite calling just yet.
However if it was there is surely some underground facility where the crème de la crème of human existence will be asked to continue their osmosis until Bruce Willis saves the day above and we can all move to a planet in a distant land at warp-speed and among those people will undoubtedly be a football team.
Now let’s say Sepp Blatter has this underground secret footballing facility, it seems like a ridiculous enough idea for FIFA to consider, and then believe it or not the bloke gives you a call. Sepp says he wants you to assemble the best team possible right now to take underground to this footballing Noah’s Ark.
You have to choose a squad of 23 players who can one day take on the team that represents this new planet in a massive inter-galactic derby match. Their star player is Francis Jeffers (that’s where he went) so it shouldn’t be too tough a win but still we want our best on offer.
Here is ours, what would be yours?
Goalkeepers: Manuel Neuer, Joe Hart, Iker Casillas
Defenders: Gerard Pique, Philip Lahm, Jordi Alba, Mats Hummels, Sergio Ramos, Vincent Kompany, Giorgio Chiellini, Thiago Silva, Javier Mascherano
Midfielders: Sergio Busquets, Jack Wilshere, Andres Iniesta, Xavi, Gareth Bale, Mesut Ozil,
Forwards: Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Radamel Falcao, Wayne Rooney, Sergio Aguero
Don’t forget to take age into consideration. It may be sometime before we can resurface as obviously, we will be waiting for the zombies to perish. Therefore the team can’t be too old but we want some experience in there as well. That’s why we have taken Pep Guardiola as assistant to Sir Alex Ferguson in this hypothetical post-apocalyptic footballing utopia. Try picking an outfield team under 30, with the exception of Xavi because simply put he is that good.
So … the world is about to end.
Who would you take underground?