Warning: While Manchester City bringing Jamie Oliver on board to cook meals for fans is actually true - The following events are entirely fictional and should not be taken as fact...
Manchester United have hit back at Manchester City's capture of free agent Jamie Oliver by bidding big for This Morning's cultured Italian chef Gino D'Acampo.
United do not want City's players taking in the meals too and gaining a nutrional advantage which would help them eat into their seven point lead at the top of the Premier League.
Instead United have cooked up a deal to bring in D'Acampo, so long as he accepts their offer.
Sir Alex Ferguson definitely did not say: "Gino is a chef we have been monitoring for a while, and City forced our hand. We don't like doing business in January but the deal was just right. He really should bring something new to our camp."
Former I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here contestant Gino D'Acampo isn't quoted as saying: "I've dealt with some real tough creatures before, but that Wayne Rooney should be a real challenge for me."
D'Acampo's first task is to get Brazilian food fanatic Anderson onto a slimline diet to get him ready for the first team.
He is not the only celebrity chef to be hired this week in response to Manchester City snapping up Jamie Oliver; Chelsea have hired Ainslie Harriott, sacked him already, and replaced him with Gordon Ramsey.
Ramsey has already replaced Rafa Benitez as boss, who takes up a new position at Stamford Bridge as a waiter serving Frank Lampard.
What do you think of City bringing Jamie Oliver on board? Is it good for the match going fan?
image: © edvvc
Dan Coombs
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Dan Coombs is a writer who is keen to embrace the internet revolution. He first started writing for us in June 2011 and commenced his new role as Sports Editor in February 2012.
As a trained journalist he has met famous faces from Mr T to Boris Johnson. He once featured in an England World Cup music video too, but it did not make the charts.
He grew up wanting to be a Formula 1 driver, but it looks like this dream has passed him by. Instead, he hopes you enjoy reading his writing on our site, as we seek to debate the day's sporting hot topics.
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