Premier League Footie Fans - Which Ones Make The Perfect Partners ?

Goal Busted Net

We've again called on the services of Ivana Takitall, whose latest book 'Football Fans & Female Fun' is now on general release. Ivana has agreed to rate all 20 Premier League clubs in terms of how likely their fans are to provide single females with their 'perfect partners'.

First up, however, some general comment.

'In all my years analysing groups of people in terms of making perfect partners, football fans have been the most difficult group', Ivana says.

'My research has led me to believe that couples are better off not going to watch matches together', she continues, 'As particularly younger men much prefer to watch their teams with their 'proper' mates, having a few drinks before and after the game, and stuffing pie and chips like it's going out of fashion. Arguments can often ensue when a female partner wants to join in the fun. In many way, the perfect partner for the average football fan is one who actually dislikes football - that way, the guys will be free to support their team without any 'interference'.

Here's the comments on the individual team fans

Arsenal

Arsenal fans are generally gentlemen (maybe it's the French connection). They are discerning in their choice of partner, loyal and considerate. They also don't expect much in return (all those seasons without a trophy will do that to you).

They also put up with a lot - like Robin Van Persie signing up to play for a rival.

Aston Villa

Really straight forward guys. What you see is what you get. You might not get wined and dined and bowled over by these guys, but they will never cheat on you. You will also know exactly where you be in their priorities - second only to the Villa.

Chelsea

In the same way that many Chelsea fans arrived from other clubs without warning, so Chelsea man will often return home after a visit to another man's wife. Don't trust him, or at least accept him for what he is - a selfish, flash-harry with a Narcissus complex.

Everton

What can you say about your toffeeman ? Careful with his money, so don't expect him to splash out. A good night's entertainment probably involves staying in and watching Brookside. And he'll be as passionate as a tin of Chang beer. But he'll never cheat on you (he hasn't the imagination).

Fulham

A Fulham supporter is every girl's dream. Well off, daft as a brush, and only wants sex once a month.

Liverpool

Chances are that he'll love Stevie Gerrard more than you, and that he's been difficult to live with these last couple of seasons. But hope springs eternal, and a new season beckons. There's more chance of you rekindling your romance with him, though, than Liverpool walking off with any more trophies any time soon.

Manchester City

Cynics - every last one of 'em. Always waiting for the bubble to burst, and until recently it has done (and fairly quickly). However, if there was ever a time to date a Manchester City fan, it's now. Still on a high from last season, these guys are a great catch, and won't begrudge you anything. And like their team, money is no object.

Manchester United

A touch arrogant, with a big sense of entitlement. These guys are used to wearing the trousers at home. Happy to spend a fortune following their team, but they will begrudge shelling out for a new dress for you (or a holiday abroad unless Man U happen to have a European match nearby). These guys will have three priorities - Manchester United, Manchester United and Manchester United. You have been warned.

Newcastle United

Fanatical, addictive personality types. Expect a really intense relationship, followed by a quick break-up. These guys have low boredom thresholds where women are concerned. They can go from all to nothing in quick succession. On the otherhand, they usually have great sense of humours, and life will never be dull.

Norwich City

Boringly conventional, don't expect a live wire - just a man mainly content with his pipe and slippers (and trips to Carrow Road). Likes to eat well, too. The way to this man's heart is through his stomach.

QPR

He'll probably live in a council house on the White City Estate, which he still shares with his parents (even though he's in his forties). If you are young, free and sexy, he won't believe his luck, but he won't spend much money on you either. He'll be good fun, but you'll soon dump him - and he'll simply shrug his shoulders, because he knew it was coming.

Reading

Dedicated followers of fashion these guys are not, but they have no airs and graces. They also have plenty to say on a variety of subjects they know absolutely nothing about. Good entertainment value though, and they are generally reliable.

Southampton

Quiet, thoughtful and seductive. These fans are ladies men, and great fun to be with. Not only do these guys like female company, they are actually happy to go to watch the Saints accompanied by a member of the fair sex. And you can't ask for much more than that.

Stoke City

Generally overweight, and have an overblown sense of their own importance. Likely to suffer from temper tantrums, and will never be first up at the bar. Many of these guys have never grown up - and never will. If it's a mature relationship you want, steer well clear.

Sunderland

These guys appear to be as hard as nails, and if they had half a brain they'd be dangerous. But beneath that tough exterior, there's a real pussycat who will treat you like a woman and behave like a real man in return. Loyal to a fault.

Swansea City

These fans are surprisingly sophisticated. They will forgive you anything, and fondly remember you as you were when you first met, rather than criticizing you for what you have become.

Tottenhan Hotspur

A real jack-the-lad. Game for a laugh, but a family man too. Likes nothing better then a family holiday in the sun during the close season. In high spirits at the moment, and looking forward to the new season. May soon need a lot of care and attention though, as they'll probably be back down to earth with a bump.

West Bromwich

Doesn't go up and down as much as he did in the past (which could be a good thing), these guys always try to do the right thing. Actually quite good conversationalists, although it takes a while to understand what they are on about.

West Ham

As crafty as a barrel full of monkeys. You'll quickly lose your heart to these cheeky chappies, but they are often not the marrying kind. You'll never forget them, though, and always wonder what might have been.

Wigan Athletic

Dull as dishwater, these guys are just happy to have you to show off to their mates (not that they have that many). But most are hardworking guys, and their efforts will enable you to keep a good home. Your mother would approve.

 

images: © wonker, © ekkebus

Bank Workers CharityBank Workers Charity - Supporting bank workers

Register for HITC Sport - Daily Dispatch

Register for Financial Markets News Alerts